Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Obituary

Ashish B. Gorde
1965 - 2025


Ashish B. Gorde, lead singer of the rock group "The Blue Vomit" died at his home in Anchorage, Alaska after suffering a dislocation in his larynx. The exact details of his demise were not available but it was rumoured that he was in the process of reaching the highest possible octave while rehearsing a somersault for his upcoming concert in London's Wembley Stadium.

His death marks the end of an era and it is doubtful whether any other performer will ever match his uniqueness in a long, long time. He will certainly be missed by millions of adoring fans worldwide who plan to hum a single D flat note at midnight GMT on Friday in his honour. This tribute is, of course, inspired by Ashish's monumental smash hit, "Tickle My D Tonight, Baby".

His singular achievement has been in turning 'off-key and off-beat singing' into a respectable musical genre. He singlehandedly broke the stranglehold of notation conservatives and brought a level of democracy to music that was almost revolutionary.

It was through his efforts alone that a completely free-form of singing devoid of rigid structures became wildly popular and galvanised millions of musically untrained people to take up singing as a full-time career.

"If it wasn't for Ashish Gorde's noble example I wouldn't have taken up singing because, since childhood, music lessons terrified me and gave me nightmares. He showed me that my love for singing need not be held ransom to the tyranny of quavers and I will be forever indebted to him for setting me free from such hangups," said Screech Owl, lead singer of the Ashish Gorde tribute band "Rhubarb Goes Burp".

His influence was not only limited to the recording industry but spread across stage, television and cinema as well. "Craps”, a Broadway musical based on his life has been a huge hit and is responsible for reviving the fortunes of musical theatre. The film version of the play was a box office hit across the world and was dubbed in many languages. Recently, he was involved in developing a TV game-show, "Smash the Classics" in which participants had to match their wits and skills in mangling well-known classics.

It would come as a surprise to most of his fans that Ashish Gorde began his public life as a writer and photographer but it was the success of his musical career that set him on the path of fame and fortune. Although he constantly expressed regret that he never managed to finish writing his novels and achieve his potential as a writer, nevertheless, it was music that comforted him and gave him release from his sense of frustration.

"It is, undoubtedly, true that it was his failure to be a writer of note that gave him the freedom to experiment with music and create this unique genre that will, forever, be associated with him," remarked his close friend Michael O'Reilly, music critic at the Rolling Stones magazine.

He is survived by his eleven ex-wives, twenty-two concubines and thirty-three children. His lawyers, on the other hand, are inconsolable by the impact of his death.

This obituary was part of a writing exercise on Shakespeare and Company, the writing forum on www.ryze.com

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

So here you reside! While revising S&Co page-design, thought I should check all the blogs. I am glad that I did.


Rajendra

Susheel said...

Good grief man, you almost gave me a heart-attack. I just did a google search and came upon the obit. and my heart skipped a beat. Wiil write you soon--lots happened since we last made contact

Ashish Gorde said...

Don't worry.. am alive and well and not planning to kick the bucket anytime soon. :)))