Monday, May 14, 2007

Blog block

I've been trying to blog for the past three-four weeks, but somehow am unable to do so. It's getting frightfully impossible to get the right words together and form meaningful sentences and paragraphs. It's not like I have nothing to say. In fact, there's so much I want to talk about, to rant and rave, to complain, to get cheesed off with, and just let off steam.

But at the same time, there's a part of me that wants to just throw my hands up in the air and say, what's the point anyway? And it's this sense of futility that worries me.

I don't see the ranting and raving as a problem. At a certain level, I guess, it is simply a knee jerk reaction to the things that irk us, an almost instinctual response to irksome things. As human beings, it is part of our nature to react, and it begins from the moment we are born and continues till we reach that singular moment when we breathe our last. We react either on the emotional or the physical realm, but we react all the same... and in some cases, we use words when we wish to react to those irksome things.

But then, sometimes, in more reflective times it is natural for us to wonder whether or not there is any point to all this. Is it worthwhile to use words as a medium for our reactions? Do our words make any difference? Does our tongue-lashing actually shift the earth from its axis and bring about changes to the eternal scheme of things? Do we really have to say something anyway? Or is silence preferable to the cacophony of words that, sometimes, disguises itself in the garb of 'meaningful conversations'?

I suppose there are no quick and easy answers to these questions. If there are answers to be found to these questions, then, they are most likely to be found in some existential quarry from where fundamental issues could be unearthed and examined. But that may not always explain why certain things bother us while others don't register even a pipsqueak in our mental radar. The quarry will only give us a broader picture, and skip the micro-view that is, often, the one that matters. The irksome things are found there in tiny dust fragments that grow larger and larger with the importance we give to it.

And here's the problem. Ignorance might stunt its growth, but will not altogether eliminate it altogether from the scene. It will remain there as a reminder of things that are bothersome. It will remain there to force some sort of reaction. So the choice is, rather, limited. If we give it the importance that, we feel, it deserves it will turn into a crisis of global proportions and swallow us up, but if we ignore it altogether it will not disappear but will seep under the surface and grow slowly but surely.

So the only thing we can do is just speak up, and leave it at that. Adding emotional inputs will only aggravate matters, and so it's best to avoid them altogether. It's best to go back to our instincts, and to the basic responses that rise from our guts. It may not be easy to keep emotions out of the picture, but sometimes, it's the only thing we can ever do... the only necessary thing we can ever do if we wish to preserve our sanity... the only possible thing that will produce the response we so earnestly desire.

So what has this got to do with my blog? Will I now start reacting to things that irk me left right and centre? Or will I use this point to justify a new reactionary 'me'?

I dont know... only time will tell. All I can do right now is to simply admit that I need to write and not remain silent. It may not make a difference. It may not change anyone. It may not alter anything. But at least, I would have done my part. I would have said something, that's all.

3 comments:

Ashish Gorde said...

A friend told me she wanted to leave a comment but it just wouldn't 'appear'... trying it out to see if there's any problem with the comments option.

Anonymous said...

Hi the friend is trying again..under anonymous...well what I was trying to say is this is your gift to be able to craft words so evocatively and eloquently...so you will need to work on those blog blocks ;-)
Manju

Ashish Gorde said...

Ahhhh it works, but 'anonymously', uh... oh yes, you're right, I need to work on those blocks and shift them a little :-))